“You seem nervous. Are you okay?”
I hear this a lot and it is because, “Yes, I am nervous.”
I accept the adjective because it seems kinder than impatient. I move at a pace that is accelerated as opposed to hurried. I make decisions efficiently as opposed to quickly, and I talk at an excited pace as opposed to talking too fast.
If you ask me what I do to relax, I will tell you that I’m a runner. I never ‘walk’ to clear my head. If I visit, I visit briefly. I value time, which I find I have little of these days. I simply move at a precipitous pace or, as my Granddo would say, “She sure don’t let grass grow under her feet.”
That is why when God asks me to wait or to be still, I struggle. I become frustrated, and sometimes I try to make a move on my own. In short, I make a mess of things.
I have a tendency to force relationships and business decisions only to realize after the fact that I should have waited. I should have prayed.
I find that my inability to trust God more than myself puts me in some tricky spots. I then desire quick resolutions to whatever mess I’ve created and try to fix those as fast as possible, too.
The cycle continues until I break. When I become so exhausted and so badly in need of peace that I yell at the copy machine and cry when they don’t have my flavor of ice cream on Ice Cream Sunday, it is then that I finally listen and hear the gentle whisper saying to me, “Be still and know that I am God.” – Psalm 46:10
I am wired to move fast. God designed me. In fact, the way He has designed me has made what I do easier in a lot of ways. I seem situated perfectly in roles that demand quick action.
Three states in three days? No problem. Deadlines? Done. But every now and then, God reminds me to slow down – to be still and to wait for His direction.
Take your time. Take a deep breath. Enjoy your career, your friends and your family. Life is worth experiencing and the grass is always greener where it is allowed to grow.